IT’S NOT FAIR TO TAG ‘DEBBY’ OR ‘ERNESTO’ WITH THE DAMAGE HURRICANES DO. BETTER TO NAME HURRICANES AFTER THE MEN WHO INCREASE THEIR DESTRUCTIVE POWER.
Attribution science provides solid evidence that global warming increases the fury of storms. Let’s name hurricanes for the men behind the damage.
I don’t know who Debby is, but I’m willing to bet she didn’t kill eight people, burst dams, and cause severe flooding across seven states in August. Ernesto, whoever he is, is surely innocent too, although his namesake hurricane left half of Puerto Rico in the dark. Why does the World Meteorological Organization continue to name hurricanes after blameless people, when we now have a good idea who actually is to blame for the increasing damage and death toll of hurricanes? That would be the men growing rich by empowering the fossil fuel industries that cause global warming. I propose we name the hurricanes after them.
Imagine:
National Hurricane Center Bulletin, August 2030. Hurricane ExxonMobil is expected to hit the central Florida coast at 2 AM, bringing heavy rain, storm surges, and sustained winds of 100 mph and gusts to 125. A mandatory evacuation order is in place. Meanwhile, tropical storm Darren Woods gains strength as it approaches Puerto Rico, where it is expected to make landfall as a Force Two hurricane. Homeowners across the island are still waiting for power to be restored after Hurricane Ted Cruz caused $4.5bn in damage last September.
In 1953, the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) decided to give storms the names of random women, perhaps on the assumption that hurricanes, like women, are tempestuous, unpredictable, and dangerous. But in 1979, a woman named Roxcy Bolton led protests against the practice. “Women deeply resent being arbitrarily associated with disaster,” she said. Whether the protests were tempestuous, unpredictable, and maybe even dangerous, I do not know. But chastened, the WMO changed its policy and named the second hurricane of the next season ‘Bob.’ So now the WMO keeps alphabetical lists of alternating men’s and women’s names and assigns them to storms as they are born.
Alberto
Beryl
Chris
Debby
Ernesto
Francine
William
On behalf of thousands of Francines and Williams worldwide, I protest: This is not fair to Francines, who were probably named for elderly aunts, or blameless Williams. But by the whim of an anonymous meteorologist, they are forever associated with palm trees smashed onto roofs and families standing up to their waists in the floating detritus of their lives and dead pets. And who knows what taunts afflict the nation’s Katrinas, Harveys, and Sandys?
Attribution science is making great progress in identifying what causes the increased intensity, frequency, and duration of storms. Their models show that certain manifestations of global warming – higher sea surface temperatures, sea level rise, and changes in the atmosphere – increase the severity and destructiveness of hurricanes. Higher sea surface temperatures increase the amount of moisture and wind energy in storms. Storm surges reach farther inland, riding on sea levels that are higher, because of global warming. Other heat-related atmospheric changes slow or stall hurricanes, increasing flood damage.
So, global warming causes more damaging hurricanes. And global warming is, as we all know by now, largely caused by human-induced emissions of heat-trapping gases, notably carbon dioxide and methane from burning fossil fuels. And the burning of fossil fuels continues to increase, thanks to corporate executives who direct the mining and deceptive marketing of fossil fuels and to the politicians who defend and subsidize them.
So, I am happy to present to the World Meteorological Organization, a new list of hurricane names that are actually appropriate. This list alternates between fossil-fuel leaders and their political cronies. And hey, if fossil fuel corporations claim to be people, let’s put some corporate names on the list too. If the World Meteorological Organization wants to scare people into boarding up their businesses and running to higher ground, this list is terrifying enough to do the trick. Thanks to OpenSecrets and the Guardian for the numbers. The new, improved list of suggested names:
Donald Trump, presidential candidate ($951,902 from 2023-24 fossil fuel campaign contributions, with a $2bn bribe requested)
ExxonMobil (2023 earnings of $344bn)
Mike Wirth, CEO of Chevron ($1,818,750 annual salary)
Ted Cruz, US Senator ($605,195 in 2023-24 campaign contributions)
Darren Woods, CEO Exxon ($20m/year in salary)
Mike Johnson, Speaker of the House ($388,594 in 2023-24 campaign contributions)
Chevron (2023 revenues of $200bn)
Jamie Dimon, CEO Chase Bank ($317bn invested in fossil fuels since the Paris Accords)
Ron DeSantis, Governor of Florida ($352,102 in 2023-24 campaign contributions)
Larry Fink, CEO BlackRock ($87bn invested in fossil fuels)
Joe Manchin, US Senator, ret. (coal multi-millionaire)
Charles Koch, CEO Koch Industries ($5.6m annual investment in lobbying for fossil fuels)
For decades, fossil fuel propagandists have tried to weasel out of responsibility for climate change by blaming their customers, ordinary people like Debbie and Ernesto. The hurricane names reinforce that narrative. Let’s change it.
